As some of you may know, I have 2 girls. Melia will be 10 this year and Avery will be 8 this May! I still can’t wrap my head around, that I will now have a pre-teen and a young lady that will be officially hitting double digits *slowly crying*!
Life as a mom for the past 10 years have honestly been amazing and challenging at the same time. I’ve questioned my parenting skills more than once. I’ve cried behind closed doors many times. I even apologized while crying to my daughters because I totally lost it and then after yelling to them, wondered to myself “WHAT THE HELL AM I DOING” and feel extremely guilty for yelling at them like that. I been there, and honestly I still have those moments at times. I think what I tend to forget is that I ‘expect’ the girls to know better and to know not to do this, that, and the other, but in reality they really don’t know any better. That’s where it should be my job (before yelling) to guide them, but in all honestly, I think frustration and lack of patience beats me first. I always try to remember that their minds are still growing and they aren’t born to know right from wrong. I will say though, I’ve been working on this within the past year though, and I have to say i’ve improved a lot on it. I of course have moments, especially when I would tell them over and over and over again, but that’s when I know that they are just not listening now. LOL
I think it’s funny how there is hundreds and hundreds of books out there on how to parent and how to discipline, but in reality I don’t think there is any book out there that can show or teach you on how to parent. Let’s be real, there is NO parent out there that is perfect and for those that say parenting is easy… they are lying to you! Because parenting is damn hard! It’s the most rewarding thing ever, but shit it’s hard! Just as your little one is learning physically and mentally, you are also learning on how to navigate, making the right decisions for them, teaching them all that needs to be taught, raise good and respectful human beings, help them with school and how to read, make sure they stay healthy, make sure they don’t break a bone, and so on…. It’s literally a book of trial and error. What rules and disciplines work for you. What parenting skills work for you. What guidance works for you….
As a parent, I make sure that my kids know that I’m the parent, BUT at the same time… I feel that it’s extremely important to have an open relationship with them as well. I personally feel that in this day in age it’s important to not only be their mom/dad but their friend as well. I want that open relationship with my girls. If they have something on their mind, even if it’s about sex later on in life, I want to have that relationship with them that they know they can come to me and talk to me about anything, and I WILL NOT JUDGE. Now the girls do know that consequences will happen on certain things, but if I can have them open up to me, rather than them open up to someone else and that other person give them bad advice, I would rather have that. Now, I also know it’s important for our kids to make mistakes, so they can learn from it, but still having that open communication where they KNOW they can come to me anytime, is something that is super important to me, as a parent. I will talk more about this in another blog post because I have a lot more to say regarding this, but for now I do think thats important!
I honestly believe that communication is whats lacking with this generation. Parents don’t have much communication with their kids now a days. I’m not sure if it’s because technology has consumed so much of our lives now a days, that communication is starting to become nostalgic or what! Obviously, I’m over exaggerating about it being nostalgic, but it sure does feel like it. I mean c’mon… have you ever taken a look around when you are at a restaurant? Many kids/teens are all looking down at their phones or iPads. I’m not going to even lie, I even see many adults doing it too. There will be a couple having dinner, and all they are doing is looking down at their phones. Where is the conversations? It’s so sad! I mean I know topics become less and less, but if my husband and I can come up with topics after being with each other for 15 years, I’m pretty sure there are plenty of topics out there for others! This is why I believe that bullies are more common now and that many kids are committing suicide.
But with all the challenges these 10 years have brought, it’s also been the BEST 10 years of my life! Getting to watch these girls of mine grow into young ladies and see their personalities change over the years, truly is the best thing to watch. You start to really see each of their characters, witness their talents, and watch them become young smart individuals. Being able to do everything that they do as kids, lets me re-live my childhood. Showing them all the fun things I did when I was a kid, and of course them showing me what they do… like Tik Tok challenges and RoBlox or Among Us (face palm). But, we definitely make sure that we provide an even better life that we had when we were kids to the both of them. Us as parents always want that, and I hope when they grow up they will work their little tushys off and provide and even better life to their kids than we provided them.
So yes, us moms and dads have A LOT on our plate, but it’s our job to teach them for 18 years, and all I can hope is what we are teaching them and guiding them to be nice and respectable human beings that love EVERYONE!
So, if you’re ever questioning your parenting skills and every needed to lock yourself in the storage closet, pantry, or bathroom… you are not alone, and just know it’s ok to do so. It’s okay to let out a cry of frustration, because again.. parenting isn’t easy and we are trying to figure it out as much as they are. Just remember the joys of being a mom/dad and seeing the smiles on our kids faces, being able to watch them grow, completing their milestones, and seeing their accomplishments (even if it’s the smallest of smallest accomplishments) are way more positive then the tough challenges we have to go through.
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